Archive for Turn Signal

11 Ways I Would Change the Rules of the Road if I Could…

“Yes I would, if I could, I surely would!”  Simon & Garfunkel

This past weekend, I found myself wishing I had stayed home because it took me FOREVER to get anywhere I needed to go. Saturday night, I was heading out to dinner in West LA near Santa Monica Blvd. and the 405. I had to travel about 6-7 miles and it should have taken about 20 minutes, maybe 30. The problem is it took 30 minutes to get from the beach to Lincoln Blvd., a distance of about 2 miles. There was no accident causing the traffic jam. It wasn’t rush hour. It’s a problem of overpopulation and overdevelopment in a small concentrated area. No one is immune to this anymore driving in Los Angeles. It’s not just on the Westside or Downtown. It’s in the Valley and all over. And sadly, there are no truly effective shortcuts remaining to bypass the gridlock.

Despite these problems all over Los Angeles, the development continues with little regard for the consequences — noise, traffic, lack of parking, etc. Environmental impact studies are often based on outdated data, but I won’t get started on the political side of this, at least not today!

It got me thinking though if I had the power to change the rules of the road in some way, what would I change. Here are some of my ideas. Yes, this is a fantasy, but hey, it’s good to have some fantasies!

  1. No road construction is allowed during rush hour or on Fridays EVER.
  2. The three strikes law now applies to people who don’t use their turn signal.
  3. All natives have access to Carpool lanes. :=)
  4. Bicycles (and bike lanes) are not allowed on streets where it reduces the number of lanes of traffic. (Seriously, it amazes and annoys me how many already extremely busy roads now have just one lane each way to drive so that they can accommodate bicycles. So now, if you want to adhere to the 3′ law when passing bikes, you have to drive into opposing traffic to pass them. Not so safe. Not so smart.
  5. Employers are required to offer employees telecommuting at least 1 day a week, preferably 2. Heck, I’ll even throw in a tax credit.
  6. Motorcycles would not be allowed to rev their engines in residential areas. In fact, the three strikes law should apply here too.
  7. Restaurants and businesses are not allowed to poach street parking spaces for valet service.
  8. Real estate developers when applying for permits (and the politicians who approve the projects) will be required to direct traffic on busy intersections during rush hour. That’ll put a stop to the overdevelopment!
  9. No more speed bumps are allowed on residential streets to appease neighborhood councils.
  10. Shuttle bus services in neighborhoods will be provided to help cut down on the number of cars on the road. It’s a great way to promote staying local and supporting local businesses too.
  11. There would be a moratorium of any further development in any densely populated areas until a complete and effective public transportation system is in place.

Do you have any rules of the road you’d like to add to this list?

I wish you a good work week. Drive safely out there.

Marci

Can you Imagine Driving in a City Where Stepford Wives are Driving?

Sorry for the delay in my post, but I just returned from spending a weekend in Tucson, Arizona. I witnessed something I don’t think I’ve ever seen on the roads in Los Angeles — an open lane, I mean wide open. The lane was under construction more than 1/4 mile up the road. There was a sign that read “Merge Left — Lane Closed Ahead.” We know those signs. They’re on every other road we traverse in Los Angeles. The funny thing is people were actually heeding the message, not at the front of the lane where it was closed, but about 1/4 mile back. Do you get what I’m saying? The lane was wide open with NO cars. What was an even more bizarre sight to see, the cars in the left lane were lined up that 1/4 mile distance one right behind the next. No one was vying to get as close to the front of the right lane as possible before merging. No one was attempting to cut anyone off because they couldn’t wait their turn. I’ve truly never seen anything like it driving in Los Angeles! I wanted to take a picture, but it wasn’t safe and of course being the driving trailblazer that I am, I drove up to the front of the right lane before merging. I was the only driver who dared. I have to confess, it was enormously satisfying to bypass all the traffic in the left lane in mere seconds. What can I say; I’m a Los Angeleno through and through.

This experience left me feeling like I was in a parallel universe where people not only obey the rules of the road, but they also take on a Stepford Wife demeanor. They slow down when someone wants to change lanes. They let people in ALL THE TIME. They use their signals. I will say, I saw one car not signal on the road, but he had a NY license plate. It wasn’t such a big deal though because everyone drives so slowly already!

Are all Tucsonans exceptionally considerate? Or perhaps all Los Angelenos are just rude? It’s stress. Clearly, we drive in a city that is bursting at the seams. It’s a natural response to want to get out of the situation and move ahead as quickly as possible. We’re so programmed to drive offensively, it’s just become second nature to be impatient when we have to wait.

When I returned home to Los Angeles and got in my car, I decided to see how long I could drive like a Tucsonan. It was a test. I would not outpace the speed of traffic on any road I traveled. I would let people in my lane. I already do signal, so that’s not an issue. But, I would be patient and considerate. And so I was … for at least an hour.

Marci

Ode to the Red Light Shuffle

 

Poet's Corner

Poet’s Corner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Listen up everyone
’cause there’s a new dance
It’s taking LA by storm
but you gotta have the right form.
If doing it isn’t a must
then you’ll be left behind in the dust.

No doe see doe
no dips, no show
It’s a vehicle prance
a drivers stance
where the position is sought
for the prime spot
When the light turns green
it’s not being mean
It’s the Red Light Shuffle

Make your move
turn your head
It’s all about precision
for the coveted position
to take off like a rocket
Now don’t you mock it
Just put your pedal to the metal
and don’t you settle
or you’ll miss out on the Red Light Shuffle!

Your behind a Prius and the light turns red
You either move away or your gonna need a med
Cause the cars will fly by in the other lane
while you’re left behind to go insane
Then the light turns green
and you can’t escape the scene
You missed out on the red light shuffle!

No doe see doe
no dips, no show
It’s a vehicle prance
a driver’s stance
where the position is sought
for the prime spot
When the light turns green
It’s not being mean
It’s the Red Light Shuffle.

Happy Monday! Proceed out there with caution. Don’t get into a scuffle with the red light shuffle, but do let me know how many people you see today doing the dance including you.

Marci Allan Poe

P.S. I haven’t given up my day job … yet.

P.P.S. Just wait until I put this to music!

The Red Light Shuffle – Shall We Dance?

You’ve heard of Dancing with the Stars? Well this is Dancing with the Cars – it’s called the Red Light Shuffle and if you like to excel in your car, then I’m sure you’ve done the dance. You know that dance. You’re approaching the red light. You’ve been stuck behind that car that’s going impossibly slow for the past three signals and the car in the lane to your right mercifully decides to turn. Ahhh, an opening!  So, you do that quick sway of the hips (or axles) at a one-two count and take over the number one position in the other lane. And there you sit, internally bobbing up and down doing the happy dance all for the pleasure of accelerating on the green at whatever pace YOU choose. Admit it. It’s exhilarating! Then, for a moment you carefully look around for heads shaking in disapproval if you cut someone off in the process. Tell me something. Do you look in your rear view mirror and watch the car you were once stuck behind get smaller and smaller as you leave him behind in the dust? The red light shuffle is the driving equivalent of the Virginia Rio. Pass your partner, to the left, dosee doe and away you go! Everyone in LA does this dance at every intersection. But why? Are we all in such a rush that we really can’t wait? Is it this never ending desire to get ahead, if not in life then at least metaphorically on the road? What do you think?

Tune in tomorrow for the “Ode to the Red Light Shuffle!”

Left turn Violator

It drives me crazy when someone refuses to pull forward into the intersection when turning left. Not only are people being negligent and selfish, they are negatively impacting the flow of traffic on our streets and creating potential hazards! Here’s one such person refusing to pull forward into the intersection. She stayed there the entire time the light was green. Perhaps if drivers did this correctly, the people behind them would be less inclined to run red lights to get through the intersection (another subject of future bitch sessions).

When you're turning left, you have an obligation to pull into the intersection!

When you’re turning left, you have an obligation to pull into the intersection!

Top 10 Driving Annoyances in Los Angeles

10. When the President comes to town. Let’s face it, a city like LA has a lot of deep pockets, which means Presidents and other wannabe Presidents and politicians can easily fundraise here. We are inconvenienced it seems more than most major cities with these visits. I have been stuck waiting for the Presidential Motorcade to pass on more than one occasion. I remember one such instance back in the Clinton years. I sat at a red light for 20 minutes minimum waiting. I did get to see both Bill and Hillary’s faces in the back seat of the limo as they drove past me. I will be sure to alert you when this happens in future posts and provide tips on ways to avoid the jams.

9.  Cyclavia – There’s something wrong when you have to 1.) drive your car someplace, 2.) pay through the nose to park your car so that you can then 3.) ride your bike to make a statement about supporting alternative forms of transportation in LA. Plus, the road closures because of Cyclavia make it impossible for drivers to get anywhere near its route. Here’s my advice, tie in Cyclavia with the LA Marathon. That way, the city is only inconveniencing drivers one time a year (other than Oscar night).  Meanwhile, stick an orange cone up on the nearest via or cul de sac and ride your bike up and down like little Timmy does. It’s safer and you won’t agitate nearly as many drivers.

8.  Road construction – when will this city be done with its roads?  Next to the problems arising from overpopulation and overdevelopment, road construction seems to be the leading cause of traffic jams in LA. Everywhere I go, there is road construction! For the past 2 years, the roads in and out of my neighborhood have been under constant construction. It never seems to end. Plus, I can’t tell you how many times lanes are blocked off but workers are nowhere to be found!  Most recently there was a lane blocked off between Lincoln Blvd. and the entrance to the 90 Freeway East on a Friday afternoon, leaving just one lane of traffic open. The gridlock spilled over onto the already overtaxed streets making for a complete traffic nightmare. It took 30 minutes to travel 2 miles. Who approved that construction project for a Friday?

7.  Police driving along side you. I don’t begrudge police the ability to patrol the streets and highways. They are doing a service … hopefully … making our roads safer. But, any time there’s a cop on the road or freeway near you, why does everyone have to slow down to below the speed limit? Do you know you COULD get a ticket for driving too slowly? That can be just as dangerous as driving too fast, maybe more. Besides, no one is getting fooled by the sudden good behavior. It might even make the police more suspicious. The police may think — Why is he slowing down? What does he have to hide? I will say, however, it does have its advantages for drivers ahead of the pack. For example, there have been times I’ve been on the freeway doing the safe-driver-scan-of-my-rear-view-mirror to see what’s happening behind me. I’ll see an entire cluster of cars behind me moving at exactly the same pace, as though they’re all being pulling by one string. This kind of cluster NEVER happens under normal conditions. It’s a pretty darned safe bet that there’s a patrol car somewhere in that cluster. How annoying though if you’re stuck in it and can’t get out. One might call it a cluster … well, you know.

6.  Police writing tickets. Once again, I don’t begrudge police the ability to pull cars over and write tickets where justified. They are doing a service … hopefully … making our roads safer. But, any time there’s a police vehicle on the side of the road with his lights flashing (or even not flashing), that translates to a slow down on the road or freeway for everyone else. Repeat after me … “I will not slow down when I see a cop on the road next time.” There is nothing to see and he’s not after you. Of course, you’re not speeding so there’s no need to slow down, right? The same rules apply to traffic accidents. If you have a morbid sense of curiosity, watch TMZ or the news instead.

5. Loud music coming from the car next to you. At the risk of sounding old, I cannot stand this! How often are you stopped at a red light when suddenly your car starts shaking and you hear this rhythmic boom in sync with the shaking? No, you’re not having heart palpitations and it’s not an earthquake; it’s the a-hole in the car next to you. You can’t drown out the noise because the bass is just too overpowering. Now, I love music. I love listening to music, all kinds. There are times when I crank up the music to rock out to a great tune, but there’s nothing great about this. The only consolation is that this person will no doubt be deaf in a few years.

4. Potholes. Why does it seem that every Mayor in LA has run with a platform that includes fixing potholes but somehow it never quite seems to happen?  I don’t know about you, but these potholes cost me a fortune in tires and alignments. I’ve got A LOT more to say about this in future posts. Stayed tuned.

3. The California Stop. Rolling through a stop sign is NOT stopping. This is so pervasive that California Stop or California Roll (not the sushi) is actually listed in the Urban Dictionary. Make stopping a habit like flossing your teeth or putting on your seatbelt. It’ll become second nature and it’ll save you a ton of money in traffic tickets and insurance.

2.  People who don’t signal.  Repeat after me … “It is not a sign of weakness to use your turn signal.” Even though every other person in Los Angeles is psychic or clairvoyant, no one should assume that we know they’re planning to make a turn. Do a good deed today and let someone in who signals. Try it out! You’ll be surprised how nice some people can be. You might even get a thank you wave. It sure beats the finger! Keep this in mind — if you want to change lanes or turn and you haven’t signaled, you have no right to get upset with the person who doesn’t let you in.

1.  People on their smart phones. Not so smart. There is far more to say than just a brief paragraph. But, for now, let me just say this. A recent Friday night, I caught the shuttle bus to the Hollywood Bowl from Westwood. We took the 405 to the 101. We were in typical Friday traffic. From my elevated seat, I could see what drivers were doing in their cars. It seemed that every 3rd driver was on his cell phone, texting or doing something that took the driver’s eyes off the road. I was shocked at how many people were messing with their phones in their cars. I mean, if we were playing the Smart Phone equivalent to the Slug Bug game, someone would have ended up in the hospital. Check out this video and share it with your friends. That split second taking your eyes off the road is all it takes to forever change someone’s life. Volkswagon Eyes on the Road Video.

Let me know what your top annoyances are.

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