Gross Generalizations about Drivers of CERTAIN cars

I’m bound to piss off someone with this this post, but so be it. I spend a lot of time in my car and on the road and if I didn’t see a pattern in behaviors, I would have little to blog about. So, that said, here are my gross generalizations about drivers of certain cars. I’m sorry if I offend you.

Porsche (excluding most Panameras) – Long ago, this was truly the cool car to drive. Think Risky Business. Then, it became the middle aged man’s mid-life crisis car.  But now it’s the older man’s car, that is the older man who thinks he’s still middle aged. This is so prevalent it seems it’s become a cliché. Perhaps it’s one’s last bastion of virility? Maybe you should trade it in for a Tesla (soon to be the next cliché.)

Rolls Royce – No matter which model you drive and how you justify owning one, this is simply an ostentatious car. Anyone who drives it is wearing his wealth and not only knows it, but thrives on showing off how rich he or she is, but mostly he.

Hummer – I’ve written a lot about my dislike of this vehicle because I believe it really should have no place in an urban metropolis. Men who drive this car (I have yet to see a woman behind the steering wheel of one) must feel the need to prove their power. Perhaps he’s compensating for a smaller part of his anatomy. Arnold (our former Governator) – that’s what happens when you take steroids.

Cadillac Escalade (and other gargantuan SUVs such as the Suburban, Yukon, Tahoe, Expedition) – While the Escalade seems to stand out from the pack of other monstrous SUVs, they all fit into this description. I have yet to encounter one of these where the driver wasn’t dangerously aggressive. Men and women drive these monsters and they drive it as though they’re in a little Fiat zipping in and out of lanes! I also have yet to see an Escalade in any color other than black. (Please refer to my post on the color of your car and what it means about you.)

Dodge Charger – Same as above. I have never encountered one of these cars going with the flow of traffic. The drivers always seems to be dangerously aggressive. It doesn’t matter the color of the car. They are all aggressive drivers!

Light colored Priuses and PT Cruisers – I’m sorry to pick on Priuses all of the time, but there are now so many on the road that when I’m approaching one (there’s never one that passes me), invariably my guard goes up because I know I’m going to have to navigate around it. Simply put, these drivers are responsible for slowing down the overall flow of traffic! I get that you want to maximize your MPG, but for the sake of being a team player on the road, get one or two less MPG and move your ass! Now the PT Cruiser has the same problem, but I don’t fault them in the same way. These cars just don’t GO fast. I’ve had one as a rental before and it was terrifying how little get up and go it had.

BMWs – Alright, so I hear again and again that BMW drivers are rude, always cutting people off, thinking they’re somehow better than others. I do agree, but as with all generalizations, there are always exceptions. 🙂



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