Tag Archive for road to nowhere

Driving Oxymorons

 

I had my car serviced today. It occurred to me that all too often “honest mechanic” is an oxymoron.  Do you know, there are a lot of driving related oxymorons? So, as I … think out loud … here’s my list of oxymorons for your contemplation and reading pleasure.

Backseat driver

Light traffic

Close distance

Easy Rider

Driving pleasure

Deliberate speed

Freeway

Inexpensive car

Rolling stop

Incomplete stop

Sharp curve

Traffic flow

Legally drunk

Getting nowhere fast

Road to nowhere

Sports sedan

Driving on autopilot – you ever drive somewhere and you’re just going on autopilot. Before you know it, you’re there but you really have no idea how you got there. Scary!

Unlicensed driver

Uninsured motorist

Driving in the concrete jungle

Near miss

Rush hour

Slow speed

Speed bump

Speed limit

Front end

Bad karma (when it comes to parking)

I would be terribly pleased if you would add to this list. If you don’t, your comments will be conspicuously absent and I will almost certainly be forced to continue.

Marci

Clichés, Expressions and Sayings Oh My!

iheartcliche

 

Driving is such a part of our lives, there are countless phrases, sayings and clichés, that have emerged and become part of our daily vernacular. I thought I would point out some of them. So, just sit back and enjoy the ride

 

 

  •  Put your pedal to the metal
  • My way or the highway
  • Road trip – now thanks to Animal House refers to any planned or impromptu trip by car, it has to have that cool factor though.
  • Taking the scenic route – how many times have you said this when you’ve gotten lost?
  • Where the rubber meets the road – the moment of truth
  • All roads lead to Rome – this goes back to the Roman Empire. They were skilled road makers and all of the Empire’s roads did in fact lead back to Rome.
  • Bells and whistles – refers to the fun stuff we get in our cars now. The origins of this likely points to fire engines.
  • Better late than never – this is what we tell our bosses when we get stuck in traffic.
  • Put the cart before the horse – ok so this may preexist cars, but not the concept of vehicles
  • Riding shotgun – this goes back to the early 20th century when someone was actually riding next to a driver (back to the stagecoach days) with a shotgun in hand to protect from robbers.
  • Skid marks – this doesn’t just refer to the road!
  • Driving like a bat out of hell
  • Stop on a dime
  • Cruisin’ for a bruisin’
  • Drive me to drink
  • Drive me up a wall
  • Drive me nuts
  • Drive the point home
  • Drive the porcelain bus
  • Highway robbery
  • One for the road
  • Pull out all the stops
  • Road less traveled
  • Road rage
  • So close you can taste it
  • Feel like a bug on a windshield
  • Spinning your wheels
  • Steer clear
  • Take a back seat
  • Take it to the limit
  • Life in the fast lane
  • The road to nowhere
  • Taken for a ride
  • Left Rubber on the road
  • and last but not least … The road to hell is paved with good intentions … as is this post!

Did I miss anything? Marci

Car Shame of the Day

The guy below on the right in the little black Ford drove up the right shoulder bypassing the two lanes of cars patiently waiting to get on the freeway. Way to go! You got about 5 cars ahead before coming to an abrupt stop on the freeway because of traffic.

(Note the color of the car and my assessment of what the color means in my last post!)

Also, be sure to check out the Car Shaming Page if you haven’t seen it lately. Got any car shaming pictures to share? Send them to me and I’ll be happy to post.

Car Shame of the Day

Car Shame of the Day

Seeing Red!

Who else is seeing red?

Who else is seeing red?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just thought I’d take a quick look to see how the commute home is looking. Not TOO bad for me … yet. Feeling sorry for the folks heading the other way on the 405. The 101 is worse though.

My Life on the Road – What a Morning!

You ever have one of those days where every driving choice you make is the wrong one? You change lanes hoping to get ahead, but somehow end up farther behind than if you stayed in the same lane. It almost feels like you’re moving backwards. It’s been one of those mornings for me. You would think that I, more than anyone else, would know better than to get stuck in the Obama traffic nightmare.

Here’s my morning and how it went down. I had a doctor’s appointment in Beverly Hills at 9:30 a.m. (Don’t worry Mom, it was just an annual check-up.) I allowed 50 minutes to get there from the Marina. That should have been adequate. After all, it used to be that Friday morning traffic was light in Los Angeles.

Before leaving my home, I checked where the Obama Motorcade closures were so I could avoid any delays. I consulted with my bible — Sigalert.com — and knew to avoid the freeways. I was feeling pretty smug. I’m in the know. I know where to avoid the traffic hassles! Well, the traffic Gods were laughing at me, cackling really. As I headed East down Venice Blvd. past Overland, I suddenly encountered gridlock. The traffic all but stopped entirely. I sat for about 15 minutes moving maybe 50 feet. I’ve been fasting since the night before, which means I’m already a little cranky. I haven’t had my morning coffee and I’m hungry. I’m not a happy camper.

I then called KNX 1070 Traffic to report (and find out) what’s going on there. Yes, I have 1070 on speed dial. Next time you hear a traffic report, be sure to listen for them mentioning Tipster Marci. Come on folks — I live in my car. This is one of my important survival techniques. So, I was told that I was stuck because of the Obama motorcade. “No! That can’t be!” I declared. “I checked to see where he was going to be and avoided that area. He’s supposed to be in the Westwood/Century City area, not where I am!” I was told that we’re not always told exactly where he’ll be. So, at my first opportunity, I made a U turn and headed back towards Overland. I could take Pico across and avoid Century City. Good. It’s fine. A delay. I’ll be a little late, but now I’m moving along nicely. Then, suddenly, I see the sign. LANES CLOSED AHEAD.

Lane closure on Overland

Lane closure on Overland

Here I go again. As I’m listening to 1070, I hear the next traffic report. They talk about Obama and the road closures and then say, “By the way, it seems there’s road construction on Venice Blvd. heading East from Overland. It’s down to one lane. Avoid that area if you can.” I didn’t mention my name this time, so no Tipster Marci credited for this. I get through the Overland construction, head down Pico eastbound. I see multiple police vehicles parked along side Rancho Park (a sign that Obama is headed that way soon). Thankfully, I stayed ahead of the motorcade and got to my appointment about 15 minutes late.

Police cars Waiting for Obama at Rancho Park

Police cars Waiting for Obama at Rancho Park

So now, I’m at the doctors and declare that I think my blood pressure is going to be extremely high after that drive. The doctor asked why. I told him explaining that I write a blog about driving and I should have known better. He then asks me where the Obama closures are because he’s heading out of the office shortly and wants to avoid that area. I bring up my post and read it to him. He looked at me and said, “I think I’ll go home instead.” Yeah…

Appointment done. I picked up a large cappuccino on my way out of the doctor’s office building and I headed back home. (This place oddly has exceptionally good cappuccino.) This time, I take the freeway back — 10 to the 405. Mercifully, no driving issues. As I’m making that transition from the 10 to the 405 South, I see 3 military helicopters heading east in the sky with two F-15 fighters following behind. (Wish I could have gotten a picture of that!) I raised my coffee to the sky, leaned back in my seat and sailed home.

TGIFF!

Marci

Obama’s in Town, Blame Gweneth Paltrow for the Bad Traffic

Obama is in town today. Gweneth Paltrow is hosting a fundraiser for him so you can blame her for your traffic nightmares.

Here are the road closures as promised. Avoid these areas at all costs!

  • Centinela Avenue between Ocean Park and Olympic boulevards, 1:30 – 3:30 p.m.
  • Lincoln Boulevard between Pico and Wilshire boulevards, 1:30 – 3:30 p.m.
  • Santa Monica Boulevard between 26th Street and Ocean Avenue, 3:30 – 5 p.m.
  • Ocean Avenue between Pico and San Vicente boulevards, 3:30 – 5 p.m.
  • San Vicente Boulevard between Ocean Avenue and Bundy Drive, 5 – 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunset Boulevard between Allenford and Barrington avenues, 5 – 7:30 p.m.
  • Sunset Boulevard between Allenford Avenue and Roxbury Drive, 5 – 7:30 p.m.
  • Beverly Glen Boulevard between Sunset and Santa Monica boulevards, 7:30 – 9 p.m.
  • Wilshire Boulevard between Sawtelle and Santa Monica Blvds, 7:30 – 9 p.m.

He’s around tomorrow too, heading inland to San Dimas. No info yet on any closures.

Demand Campaign Finance Reform and you’ll have far less of these road closures in the future!

Citizen Marci

Top 10 Driving Annoyances in Los Angeles

10. When the President comes to town. Let’s face it, a city like LA has a lot of deep pockets, which means Presidents and other wannabe Presidents and politicians can easily fundraise here. We are inconvenienced it seems more than most major cities with these visits. I have been stuck waiting for the Presidential Motorcade to pass on more than one occasion. I remember one such instance back in the Clinton years. I sat at a red light for 20 minutes minimum waiting. I did get to see both Bill and Hillary’s faces in the back seat of the limo as they drove past me. I will be sure to alert you when this happens in future posts and provide tips on ways to avoid the jams.

9.  Cyclavia – There’s something wrong when you have to 1.) drive your car someplace, 2.) pay through the nose to park your car so that you can then 3.) ride your bike to make a statement about supporting alternative forms of transportation in LA. Plus, the road closures because of Cyclavia make it impossible for drivers to get anywhere near its route. Here’s my advice, tie in Cyclavia with the LA Marathon. That way, the city is only inconveniencing drivers one time a year (other than Oscar night).  Meanwhile, stick an orange cone up on the nearest via or cul de sac and ride your bike up and down like little Timmy does. It’s safer and you won’t agitate nearly as many drivers.

8.  Road construction – when will this city be done with its roads?  Next to the problems arising from overpopulation and overdevelopment, road construction seems to be the leading cause of traffic jams in LA. Everywhere I go, there is road construction! For the past 2 years, the roads in and out of my neighborhood have been under constant construction. It never seems to end. Plus, I can’t tell you how many times lanes are blocked off but workers are nowhere to be found!  Most recently there was a lane blocked off between Lincoln Blvd. and the entrance to the 90 Freeway East on a Friday afternoon, leaving just one lane of traffic open. The gridlock spilled over onto the already overtaxed streets making for a complete traffic nightmare. It took 30 minutes to travel 2 miles. Who approved that construction project for a Friday?

7.  Police driving along side you. I don’t begrudge police the ability to patrol the streets and highways. They are doing a service … hopefully … making our roads safer. But, any time there’s a cop on the road or freeway near you, why does everyone have to slow down to below the speed limit? Do you know you COULD get a ticket for driving too slowly? That can be just as dangerous as driving too fast, maybe more. Besides, no one is getting fooled by the sudden good behavior. It might even make the police more suspicious. The police may think — Why is he slowing down? What does he have to hide? I will say, however, it does have its advantages for drivers ahead of the pack. For example, there have been times I’ve been on the freeway doing the safe-driver-scan-of-my-rear-view-mirror to see what’s happening behind me. I’ll see an entire cluster of cars behind me moving at exactly the same pace, as though they’re all being pulling by one string. This kind of cluster NEVER happens under normal conditions. It’s a pretty darned safe bet that there’s a patrol car somewhere in that cluster. How annoying though if you’re stuck in it and can’t get out. One might call it a cluster … well, you know.

6.  Police writing tickets. Once again, I don’t begrudge police the ability to pull cars over and write tickets where justified. They are doing a service … hopefully … making our roads safer. But, any time there’s a police vehicle on the side of the road with his lights flashing (or even not flashing), that translates to a slow down on the road or freeway for everyone else. Repeat after me … “I will not slow down when I see a cop on the road next time.” There is nothing to see and he’s not after you. Of course, you’re not speeding so there’s no need to slow down, right? The same rules apply to traffic accidents. If you have a morbid sense of curiosity, watch TMZ or the news instead.

5. Loud music coming from the car next to you. At the risk of sounding old, I cannot stand this! How often are you stopped at a red light when suddenly your car starts shaking and you hear this rhythmic boom in sync with the shaking? No, you’re not having heart palpitations and it’s not an earthquake; it’s the a-hole in the car next to you. You can’t drown out the noise because the bass is just too overpowering. Now, I love music. I love listening to music, all kinds. There are times when I crank up the music to rock out to a great tune, but there’s nothing great about this. The only consolation is that this person will no doubt be deaf in a few years.

4. Potholes. Why does it seem that every Mayor in LA has run with a platform that includes fixing potholes but somehow it never quite seems to happen?  I don’t know about you, but these potholes cost me a fortune in tires and alignments. I’ve got A LOT more to say about this in future posts. Stayed tuned.

3. The California Stop. Rolling through a stop sign is NOT stopping. This is so pervasive that California Stop or California Roll (not the sushi) is actually listed in the Urban Dictionary. Make stopping a habit like flossing your teeth or putting on your seatbelt. It’ll become second nature and it’ll save you a ton of money in traffic tickets and insurance.

2.  People who don’t signal.  Repeat after me … “It is not a sign of weakness to use your turn signal.” Even though every other person in Los Angeles is psychic or clairvoyant, no one should assume that we know they’re planning to make a turn. Do a good deed today and let someone in who signals. Try it out! You’ll be surprised how nice some people can be. You might even get a thank you wave. It sure beats the finger! Keep this in mind — if you want to change lanes or turn and you haven’t signaled, you have no right to get upset with the person who doesn’t let you in.

1.  People on their smart phones. Not so smart. There is far more to say than just a brief paragraph. But, for now, let me just say this. A recent Friday night, I caught the shuttle bus to the Hollywood Bowl from Westwood. We took the 405 to the 101. We were in typical Friday traffic. From my elevated seat, I could see what drivers were doing in their cars. It seemed that every 3rd driver was on his cell phone, texting or doing something that took the driver’s eyes off the road. I was shocked at how many people were messing with their phones in their cars. I mean, if we were playing the Smart Phone equivalent to the Slug Bug game, someone would have ended up in the hospital. Check out this video and share it with your friends. That split second taking your eyes off the road is all it takes to forever change someone’s life. Volkswagon Eyes on the Road Video.

Let me know what your top annoyances are.

Also, be sure to “like” my new Facebook page and follow me on Twitter.

Welcome to my bLAuto!

just me in carLiving in LA, the road has become an all too important character in my life. It’s the protagonist, the nemesis, the best friend who gives perspective on life, the annoyance that you sometimes just can’t avoid. It’s my routine and my escape. Sometimes it makes me want to scream and other times it allows me to breathe. At the age of 16, it was my “get out of jail free” card when the world was opening up and anything was possible. Now, as a commuter, there are days I fear it could lead to my demise.

Most of my adult life, I’ve had to commute a considerable distance. I figure each year, driving about an hour each way give or take, I spend about 500 hours on the road commuting for work. 500 hours! That’s about 20 days a year! With an average distance of just 25 miles each way, that translates to 4 times across the U.S. or about one and a half times around the earth. And this is a conservative estimate! I’ve had jobs that were 40-50 miles away. 20 days a year! To think of what I could do with that time back in my life.

I found after spending these two hours a day in the car, on a good day, my sanity was slowing slipping away. My regularly, somewhat genteel personality was lapsing into fits of manic combustion. I was not about to let the poor planning of urban developers get the better of me. So, I decided to turn this pent-up frustration into constructive therapy. Yep, I turned it all around for the sake of sanity. I started gaining pleasure in watching people in cars around me try to find a quick way out of gridlock – hopping lanes to see if they could squeeeeeeze an extra car past. The thrill I gained in watching these people interact on the freeway was almost sadistic.

Yet day in and day out I was no better off than anyone else. I was still one of the countless numbers of others caught in this cacophony of asphalt. So I thought and I thought. I thought about my goals, what I want to do with my life, how I could make myself financially secure so I’ll never have to drive in rush hour traffic again. I tried everything to maximize my time in the car and get my mind off traffic. I bought a comfortable car disproportionate to my income level with lots of bells and whistles (the LA thing to do). I listened to music, novels on CD like “How to Become a Millionaire.” And as my mind would still wander, I saw people’s driving habits form common patterns. Personalities emerged and started to show similarities. Just like we categorize people in society and label them based on their socio-economic status, I found that people’s driving behaviors could be categorized as well. Sure some people are in nicer cars, but this time, income level did not determine how far one could excel before another on the road to nowhere.

As it turns out, the road is a great equalizer. As in life, people behind the wheel are driven by their ambition, frustration, and others who set the pace. I can see it in how they drive and will share with you my insights. I hope you’ll join me on this journey in my bLAuto. I will share with you humor, pathos, tips and tricks, of course the occasional bitch session, and even offer what I hope will be educational information.

Thanks for joining me on this road trip! I welcome your comments.


Marci